JACOB WALTERS
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Why You Shouldn't Root For The Lions

9/14/2020

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We all have our teams that we root for. Some of them we will ride and die for, some of them we feel hopelessly tied to like a bad marriage. I'm highlighting the hopelessness behind these franchises and why you should steer as far away from them as possible. Let's start with the Detroit Lions.

The only NFC team to never make the Super Bowl (that was a Jeopardy! question, by the way), the Lions have only won one playoff game since 1957. That's a long time for mediocrity. The funny thing is that William Clay Ford, as many other midwesterners do, believed in the wholesome philosophy of tradition. That includes the tradition of getting your asses kicked by either Brett Favre or Aaron Rodgers on Thanksgiving Day. There's also the 0-16 season in 2008. Then there's also the team's current ownership getting their asses kicked by the  eccentric, dopamine-filled businessman Elon Musk and Tesla.
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The sad thing is that there are numerous Lions fans who believe that their team is like the Chicago Cubs. They believe that "it's gonna happen" and drink the poisonous kool-aid every year. They are either extremely dumb or just trying to sound cool. At least the Cubs made a smart hire in getting Theo Epstein and just got out of the way to get their World Series. I can't say the same for Lions fans.

I started giving up on this team around the eighth grade and never looked back. Now they're someone that I used to know. As long as the Fords own the Lions, you're going nowhere, Lions fans. Your team will waste generational talents that will despise your organization for as long as possible. Enjoy Elon Musk dancing with maracas on the Lions/Ford gravestone, Lions fans.
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