The Picks: I've Given Up Edition

So I whiffed on my picks last week (thanks, Cody Parkey and Sebastian Janikowski) and I feel like crying because I did terrible. I've decided to resort to a higher being to combat these demons: my cat.

I have two free passes to use this postseason and if I nail both, I don't have to pick for the rest of the postseason. If I get one right, I only get one for the next round. That's it. I'm going to take my cat's advice and see what happens so I can get back into the groove! Here's what my cat told me.

• Colts over Chiefs: "Horsies are faster than people, which will mean a lot of touchdowns. The bosses don't have good defenses and the horsies are running through everyones. Therefore, I will goes with the horsies (Colts)."
  
• *Free Pass on Rams vs. Cowboys: "This could goes either way. The Cowpokies could defeat the Rams and bring thems back to their camps for food. Either thats, or the Rams could knock them outs over the mountains. The Cowpokies are missings many weapons on offenses and will have to depends on Ezekiel Elliott. Elliott will haves a big game and the Cowpokies (Cowboys) will cover the spread."
• Patriots over Chargers: "Toms Brady is a good quarterback and Bill Belichick will find some ways to put the Chargers at disadvantages. Will the Patties brings out Mel Gibson? What about Kurt Angles and his Olympics theme?"
• *Free Pass on Saints vs. Eagles: "I heard Nick Foles has done great things. I hope he likes kitties like me. Anyway, the Saints will calls down all the valkeries and angels to stop the birdies. Besides, the birdies call themselves "Underdogs" and doggies are stinky animals. Therefore, I don't likes them."