After work yesterday, I tuned in to watch Lamar Jackson and the Baltimore Ravens curbstomp the Rams into oblivion. The MNF game turned into such a snoozefest that I channel surfed until I came across National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. Good choice, right? After all, it is a holiday classic, up there with the likes of Elf, Die Hard, and A Christmas Story.
Sadly, it didn't appeal to me. Chevy Chase plays a suburban Chicago father in what is an ode to holiday consumerism and America. It was so unfunny that I honestly hoped that Reggie White would show up and tackle Chevy Chase through the ground while Aaron Rodgers threw footballs at Chase's head. Not to knock on Chevy; he's a funny dude. It's just felt like I was watching the Seinfeld of Christmas movies, only boring. OOOOH, CHEVY CHASE JUST USED A CHAIN SAW TO CUT OFF A BULB ON THE STAIRCASE! HOW HYSTERICAL! I'M DYING LOLOLOLOLOL.
The movie ends with a SWAT team breaking through the house and with everyone looking up and seeing some lights that manifest into reindeer shooting across the sky. As they look up, they hold their hands to their heart and start singing The Star Spangled Banner because the 80's lifestyle in the midwest and holiday Americana go together like peanut butter and jelly. Christmas Vacation just... sucked. At least Johnny Galecki was in it. He's lost some weight since then. Good for him.
My life! Food, sports, school. It's what it is!