Seriously. Have you ever felt like you had no hope with a big life event coming up? This is currently the state that I'm in right now. This is my current mood right now.
I have an interview in Las Vegas for a recruiter position for a healthcare company next week. Part of me embraces the challenge of going about my business on my terms. Part of me is worried about what might happen. What if I don't get any of these jobs? What if I don't have the help needed to move? I've already had one of my parents tell me they aren't willing to help, which sucks. However, it is what it is and it hasn't deterred me. I want out of Michigan. I want to experience life somewhere else. Sure, there are four big lakes to explore. Michigan is also a great environment for owning a pet. There are plenty of nonprofits that take care of sheltered animals to go around. There's also a sports fan base that's passionate in Michigan, especially in Metro Detroit. However, I can't see myself having a life in Michigan. I hate winter, I hate the Michigan roads, and I don't like the notion of raising a family there. Granted, the family motif has a place in American lore (especially in Midwestern culture). However, I don't like the idea of being tied down to a child or two.
Now for those of you who manage to have a lifestyle where you're able to raise children, I salute you. You will be a better parent than I ever will. Honestly, I keep having horrid visions of me raising a family. I don't think I can ever aspire to this fairy tale marriage involving children and passing down a 'legacy' and my wisdom down to the next generation. If I get a job somewhere in Metro Detroit, I feel like I will be heading down that path of finding a woman, marrying her, heading to some Oakland/Macomb County suburb, and starting up a family. I don't want that. I hope to travel and explore the world one day. I want to learn about different cultures of the world. That's what I hope to achieve in life.
To my family and friends that are disheartened by my lack of desire to have my own family, I apologize. However, this is a part of why I can't stand Midwestern culture. It's too steeped in finding the "one", settling down, and starting a family. Yes, having a family or a unit to rely on is critical. However, the predictability of settling down scares me to death. I also would like to prove to myself that I can do this on my own. Nothing big ever came from 'playing it safe'.
My life! Food, sports, school. It's what it is!