All I want for Christmas next year...

...Is a new phone. Seriously, I'm sick of having so many dropped calls. That shit gets old fast. With that being said, here's what I would like for next Christmas.

• For Jed York to Be Gone: Jed York is the biggest simp among NFL owners. He shows too much weakness, he doesn't know what a good, healthy quarterback is (he passed up Patrick Mahomes and Deshaun Watson, for crying out loud), and he'd probably let Jerry Jones have sex with his wife. I understand San Francisco's entrusted in family ownership. However, having a family run a team doesn't always guarantee success (see the Ford family and the Lions). Get this schmuck outta here and replace him with a proven winner. Someone like Mark Cuban or Steve Ballmer will suffice.
  
• For Roger Goodell to Be Gone: Maybe Adam Silver can run the NFL's operations? That way, the NFL won't be so dodgy about various issues pertaining to kneeling for the anthem and domestic violence. The NFL wouldn't have constant rule changes as well. A commissioner like Silver wouldn't cozy up to certain owners in the NFL, either. Seriously, throw Goodell out with that simp, Jed York, in the process.
  
• For COVID-19 and Mitch McConnell to Be Gone: Seriously. I want to explore the world again. Like everyone else, I want to be free. Let's get some effective leadership in here. Let's get the American people fed.